Tokyo nights

Puzzled

So now that I've renewed the lease on my apartment (that echoing sound you hear is my empty wallet), I've decided to invest a bit in making my apartment more livable. My first order of business is to get rid of my old sofa/day bed since sleeping on that thing gives me chronic back pain.

Herein lines my dilemma; I dunno how to get that fucker downstairs to the garbage room of my building.

When I first got the sofa, it took two heaving, sweating men from kuroneko to lug it inside my door. It's so heavy that just sliding it over about 20 cm requires effort. It's also a two seater, so it's too big for me to carry out the door anyways, regardless of it's weight.

How do I get the damn thing down to the garbage room?

I checked with the garbage website for my ward and they will not pick up large garbage at your home unless you're a senior or disabled in some way. All my male Japanese friends are smaller or frailer than I am, so the weight of the sofa might snap them like dry sticks. 

Recycle shops won't take it because Mochi's claws of doom have done their work on both front ends.

The only thing I could think of was to inquire with a benriya-san (a kind of handyman service in Japan that does almost anything). I just got a quote from one of them back today and it was 9000 yen just to bring the sofa downstairs. Nine...thousand...yen. WTF? For that price I could buy a cheap new sofa! I think it shouldn't cost more than 4000 to 5000 since I'm not asking them to take it away and throw it out for me!

Anyone who lives in Japan, feel free to give me suggestions on how to rid myself of this inconvenient piece of furniture!

Woher...spazieren sie?

The only foreign language that matters is English, didn't you know? That's what JR's train staff seems to think. Anyone who can't speak English or Japanese is a waste of time and should be brushed off and gotten rid of (unless we're running a bid to host the Olympics! Then we love all people! Multiculturalism, yah!).

Seems harsh, but this was exactly the kind of attitude I witnessed on Sunday when I was coming back from my extravagant cheese shopping (a post on my food blog is soon to come). This poor foreign woman with a back pack was trying to ask directions somewhere from the train staff. They kept shrugging their shoulders and making shooing motions at her to move away from the ticket window. I was really pissed off by their behavior. Cops in Japan are notorious for this whole "fuck off it's too challenging to help you" bit, too.

Remembering what it was like when I first came to Tokyo, I decided to intervene and help the woman. She was standing in front of the big area map in the station with a very upset look on her face. I approached with a smile and asked if she was okay. In perfect English with no accent, she responded, "I don't speak English." Fair enough. After two long blinks (my way of processing surprising or unpleasant information), we established she spoke German. Bugger, bugger! Why couldn't it be one of the foreign languages I still speak well? Why not French or Spanish? Okay, no need to panic! I took two years of German in University.....6 years ago. I was reading Goethe in the original language...with a dictionary. I wrote a huge thesis on Faust in German...with a little help from Babelfish. I can give simple directions!

It took us less than 3 minutes of conversation to establish that I now speak about as much German as I do Greek. I could understand exactly where she wanted to go, yet couldn't find the words to explain how to get there. I couldn't even remember how to say right or left and some bits came out in Japanese. This travesty in several languages went something like this:

"Wir sind hier...und du, woher gehen sie? Nach Asakusa-bashi? Spazieren?!?..um, Kottotori-dori, ano Kottotori strasse...muss...zu ....gehen. Hai. Es ist sehr....tooi yo. Uh, *nervous laugh* Es ist besser....um...densha...er, le, zie, der tren aus gehen. No, the TRAIN. TRAIN. Ja, choo choo? Locomotiv? "

I was right pissed at myself by this point because I'd let my German deteriorate. Plus, her map didn't show anything past Iriya station. We were closer to Kita Senju, so fat lot of good the map did us. I wasn't sure how to get her back down to Asakusa-bashi without having her backtrack all the way to Iriya. I tried to ask one of the train staff to give me a hand, but when they saw another foreign face, they assumed I was with the woman from " one of the unpopular countries that don't speak English" and they refused to assist me.

Finally, I got the woman to understand that rather than spend the next hour and some change walking around lost, she should just hop on the Hibiya line and then take the train from Akihabara to Asakusa-bashi. She could be there in about 10 minutes. She gave me a dubious look, thanked me in German (I replied in Japanese by accident) and then disappeared off into the world.

Tokyo is confusing until you've gotten lost here enough times.

I was going to rant on how the xenophobic people of Japan need to get their act together and welcome foreigners more if they want a strong economy and birth rate but...I can't be arsed right now. It's snowing!

MySpace Eikaiwa?

Before Facebook was a household name, I admit that I made a MySpace page back in the day. I made the MySpace page when I moved out to Fukushima, because I craved contact with people who were not other English teachers (my views on the male English teacher in Japan are well documented on this site).

I didn't use it all that much, but over time managed to build up a fairly big list of friends. Then the ex and his stalker came along, and I deleted my account. I did start up another one eventually, but just found it so boring I couldn't be bothered to update it much. I mean, MySpace can't hold a candle to the FarmVille application, right?

To be fair, I have met some nice people in Japan through MySpace that have become good friends. We go for dinner, go to clubs, watch concerts, etc. It's pretty nice. BUT there is a dangerous animal on MySpace that you have to be careful of when you start adding Japanese people to your friends list. This organism preys on foreign people in the city with only one objective in mind: free English lessons.

It will start out very innocently, of course. You will connect on MySpace somehow (you search them, they search you, a friend recommends them, etc.) and you send a few emails. At first it's all generosity on their part, with invitations to show you around the city, introduce you to new places you haven't seen before, etc. Excited and touched to finally break through the exclusive clique that is Japanese society, you agree. Remember you are just looking for friends, not a relationship.

Before accepting any of these invitations you should have the following:

1) Your excuse to leave early. My favorite is to have a friend call me with an "emergency" or "forgotten plans"

2) Your cell phone. Otherwise #1 will be useless.

3) Your escape route, complete with train schedules. Otherwise you may be trapped in whatever place they choose to bring you.

If you're really lucky, you'll get the hybrid. This is an organism that not only wants to practice their English with you for free, but is also willing to sleep with you, should they be lucky enough to get you inebriated.

Let me give you a case study to further illustrate my point:

Girl A (who in no way resembles me. *cough* ) unwittingly met a hybrid on MySpace. On the surface he seemed friendly and interesting, if somewhat eccentric, and she agreed to go out for karaoke. Now, Girl A is no fool, and she chose a very public area for their meeting. She also had prepared all 3 suggestions on the list above, and therefore considered herself safe enough. They met in Shibuya (his choice, she hates the Hachiko meeting place with a passion), and they wandered off to their destination.

Only 5 minutes into their night out, Girl A realized she'd made a mistake of epic proportions. Eccentric did not even begin to cover the behavior of the hybrid, as he sang with more passion than necessary, stamping his foot on the floor (off the beat, no less) for emphasis during emotional parts of the lyrics. He also had a tendency to sing with his eyes closed, throw his head back, and was the most off key singer she'd ever had the misfortune to cross. Trying not to giggle, Girl A downed as many tequila sunrises as she could during their two hour stay and sent hilarious play by play texts of the hybrid's antics to her friends on her cellphone.

When they exited Karaoke, Girl A wanted to escape, but tenacity is the hybrid's most outstanding feature. He suggested an Okinawan pub up the road, coaxing Girl A with tales of delicious island cuisine and Orion beer. Within 5 minutes of sitting down, the hybrid laid out the first part of his agenda: He wanted to improve his English. What does he suggest? Why nothing but a STUDY SCHEDULE that Girl A could partake in to teach him English. During and after the Soki Soba and Goya Champuru, the hybrid continued to suggest study aids he would like Girl A to bring and the "benefits" (wink, wink) that she could enjoy if she helped with said studying. Girl A never ate so fast to get out of a restaurant in her life.

After leaving the bar, the hybrid changed tactics and went into phase two of his agenda: sleeping with a foreigner. Pathetic attempts to grab Girl A's sympathy ("I came here from Yokohama. There's no more trains, and I'll be stuck here overnight") were put into play with little effect. When the whole "let's get naked in a love hotel, we're not far from the hill" ploy failed to gain him access to Girl A's panties, he tried to get her to take him home to her apartment.

At this point, Girl A was feeling tired, disillusioned, and a fiery wrath backed up by delicious tequila. She looked him straight in the eye and told him to fuck off. It's a crude, but effective way of getting rid of the hybrid. She left him to find his own place to stay for the night/way home and returned to her apartment in a huff. Though she was tired and somewhat drunk, she also took the time to block his ass from her MySpace page.

The story should end here, but didn't I say hybrids are tenacious? Soon the hybrid discovered one of Girl A's friends on MySpace and began using that person as a method to get information on Girl A. He also kept changing his cell phone email so that he could bombard her with text messages even after she blocked him. Weary of his ways, Girl A finally had her then boyfriend call up the hybrid and threaten him with bodily violence if the hybrid did not leave his woman alone. And there ends our story.

The moral of this story is that MySpace is no longer just the home of angsty tweens desperate for strangers' approval through photo comments or people from third world countries looking for VISAS by marrying foreigners. It is now home to several types of predators that are on the lookout for innocent whiteys in Japan. Men are as vulnerable as women, although I believe men encounter more hybrids than women do. Use MySpace at your own peril!

Traditions

Since my first January in Japan, I visit a few shrines every year during the new year's holiday. Part of my resolution this year was to get more exercise, so I decided to walk all the way around the northern part of Taito ward (or at least it felt like it), walking to four shrines and two temples I like.

The first one I visited was 鷲神社　（おおとりじんじゃ）. Before you bitch about my kanji; yes, that is the way it's written, and yes, I know that it's read as washi and not ootori. Take that up with the shrine, cuz that's how they romanized it. *shrugs*

 

Sorry about the shot. It's right near the street, so the only way I could get a great shot would be from across the street with zoom and no traffic.

Anyways, I discovered this little gem of a shrine when I was trying to walk to Asakusa with the ex in January of 2009. We knew we were on the right track because the traffic signs said Asakusa, but we still had to rely on GPS to find it. On the way, we stumbled across this wonderful place. They have the cutest love charms you have ever seen. They come with your love fortune inside. I think I posted one last year, but here's my new one:

Unfortunately, it was not a good fortune like last year. I got 末吉. Basically, that's what some temples give you at new year instead of 凶, which is the worst fortune you can get. Boo. It DID say that my 赤い糸の相手 [fated person. Japanese people believe soul mates or perfect partners are joined by a piece of red string tied to their fingers. We can't see it, but it joins two people meant to be together] was very close to me. It also suggested I date either someone from Tohoku (one of my coworkers I have a crush on is from Akita!) or someone from the south (drunk love confession guy #1 is from Okinawa). Under 縁談 (marriage proposals) it said if I show any hesitation, I should reject the person asking. lol.

That was a specific omikuji for love, so I decided to get a regular one, too. I got it at another temple closer to Ueno station on Asakusa dori. This shrine was a new discovery for me! I must have walked by it before, but it's down a little side street. I wouldn't have noticed it if people hadn't been heading that way. It's called 下谷神社 (shitaya jinja) and is my new favorite place! Why, you ask? Because they have PET OMAMORI! Omamori are good luck charms that you can buy at temples. They usually come in a brocade bag (which you shouldn't open) and can be general good luck, or specific things like traffic safety, passing exams, etc. Of course, I got one for Mochi! He is wearing it as I type! Very cute! It's made of chirimen silk.

 

A closer view of the charm:

Too cute, right?

As for my regular fortune, it was also pretty spot on. Luckily, even though my love luck isn't so good, I got 中吉 (medium happiness) again this year. The fortune told me to stop worrying over the misfortunes of my family (my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer right before Christmas) and to leave things up to heaven. Constant worrying will only cause me pain and won't be productive. Be patient, and calm, and things will get better. Too true. Sage advice. 

I don't know if I believe in them, but it's always fun to get my fortune and compare notes with my friends. The discovery of the pet good luck charms was also a bright spot in the day along with walking 10,000 steps!

Another year done

So another NYE is past and it's time to get on with 2010!

Since I'm still under a Mizuho bank-imposed "budget," bastards,  I couldn't splash out last night on a fancy do. Instead, I bought some 年越しそば (long life noodles, I guess you'd say...it's a traditional NYE food in Japan), some other treats, cracked open some sake I bought in Hokkaido, and sat my ass down in front of the TV to watch the ENTIRE NHK 紅白(red and white festival). I actually really enjoyed it. Yes, you may gasp in surprise.

For those outside Japan who don't know what it is, the red and white festival (now in it's 60th year) is a kind of competition that lasts the better part of the 31st, starting in the early evening and ending just before midnight. Two teams (red and white) compete, with musical guests singing. People at home can vote for their favorite team. Usually it's pretty boring because the majority of artists are Enka singers (kinda like the Japanese blues).

A lot of my fave artists were on TV this year, instead of the usual parade of Johnny's Juniors I'd never heard of. On a tangent, speaking of JJs, do grown housewives feel no shame drooling over kids who are young enough to be their own children? some of the kids are only in junior high!

I did have to suffer through SMAP and that B something something girl group (is it BK48? I can't be bothered to google it), but the rest were solid gold! Kobukuro, Jero, Arashi, Ishikawa Sayuri, Koda Kumi, the list of good performances went on and on. I was singing along with all my favorite tunes last night, especially the Arashi medley. Yes, I'll admit I love them. So what?

Still don't understand why レミオロメン decided to write and perform a song the vocalist clearly doesn't have the chops to sing. Last night's version of 粉雪 was painful to hear. The strain in his voice to hit (and more often, miss) the high notes made me cringe. I do love the song, though. It's quite beautiful and I often attempt it at karaoke.

The only pill in the jam  (apart from SMAP performing. It's been 17 years!! Enough already! RETIRE!!!) was the terrible job the hosts did. REALLY tired of Nakama Yukie and Nakai Masahiro's flat MCing. NHK, please replace them next year!

Around 8 p.m. was the best, because who appeared on screen but SUSAN BOYLE!!!! That's right! SUBO and I shared the same city for a night! I feel so blessed! She appeared on screen with her (now standard) dark, sparkly dress and "caught in a windstorm hair" and graced us all with her angel's voice after chatting with Kimura Takuya through a bad interpretor. He tried talking to her in English first, but the interpreter jumped in and translated it again for Susan. He looked horrified and insulted. It was TV gold! I was so excited I couldn't send a coherent text message to anyone to inform them to get their asses in front of a TV and watch it. I did catch part of it on my cellphone to show me Ma. I'll send it to her later today.

I was going to visit a temple at midnight, but by this point I'd ingested a small bottle of sake, the better part of a bottle of beaujolais wine, and was stuffed with food. I tried sending a mass happy new year text to all my pals in Japan, got several error messages that the mail system was overloaded and to try again later, gave up, and passed out.

An excellent evening.

Lazy bastards

I did not make it to the bank on time today. I had good reason, as I was nursing a wine hangover from my birthday yesterday. This means that until January 4th, I have to survive on a little over a hundred bucks (all I have left in cash after said birthday). My savings account is not accessible by ATM, so I'm in trouble. No partying or buying much of anything (except convenience store dinners) for just under a week. Bugger.

I realize that January 1st to 3rd are national holidays, but how can they be closed on the 31st?!?! Even if the bank was just open in the morning, it'd help a lot of people. Banks here already have the worst hours, closing at 3 p.m. on weekdays and not open on weekends. Bank tellers in Japan are lazy bastards. How do I get a job in a bank here?

Before holiday woes

Sorry I've been silent so long. Lots going on right now.

I am in the middle of a recruiting campaign at work that won't taper off until the holidays. Working 6 days or even 7 days in a row for the past few months has been killing me. Also still going to dance class and trying to get some stuff ready for the holidays.

The baking spirit is upon me, but thwarted by the lack of good baking stores (or just my lack of knowledge of them). Does anyone know a good shop where I can buy edible glitter and colored sugars? The Kaldi near my house disappoints me and the other fancy shops around my area are very limited.

I thought maybe LOFT would have some if I went to one of the big locations...

I'm trying to get this effect with my sugar cookies. I need those toppings! An opalescent glitter would be fab!

I did buy a lot of toppings for my xmas cake, though. Mwahahaha! I'm actually doing two of them. One cake is going to be for my mom and I (who is flying in around the middle of next month) and the other is for some friends I'm having over to my house (hopefully) at the beginning of December.

I'm also planning a huge Christmas/End of the year party of maybe 20 odd people (which I have dubbed the "メリクリ忘年会"). It's stressful because location isn't suiting a lot of people (they don't like the atmosphere, they don't like the price of the set menu, yadda yadda yadda). It's giving me more white hairs. More on that later.

I got back today from dance class and couldn't be bothered to do anything around the house. Tomorrow is a national holiday (thank YOU Japan!) so I'm going to get my cleaning and the first experimental batch of a new sugar cookie recipe done then. For now I'm sitting back with a big bowl of chili con carne and watching The Holiday and Love Actually. Ah, bliss.

Tokyo rocks!

When I first came to Tokyo I admit I was only thinking about living somewhere exciting. I wanted to be able to go party until the wee hours if I wanted to, visit strange theme bars and clubs, have a higher salary job, etc. I never really thought about how incredibly convenient and metropolitan the city is, and how I could benefit from it.

I'm thankful for the variety of cultures represented here. Having dozens of different embassies, cultural events and schools is so wonderful. If it weren't for Tokyo, I probably wouldn't have the chance to learn Kathak. I certainly wouldn't have learned it sitting back in my hometown! How many other places outside India can I learn an authentic nothern Indian dance?

Below is the video for one of my fave dances with Gopi Krishna (best male Kathak dancer!!!). The movie is Jhanak Jhanak Payal Baje. The day I got it in the mail I was beyond happy! The singing takes some getting used to for people who aren't used to it. Watch the fast footwork. Amazing!

Today was my first lesson (finally!). My teacher learned from one of the great dancers in India, Guru Birju Maharaj (he did the choreography for Devdas!!!), and I was excited to learn the Lucknow style. Happily, she is as kind and patient as she is graceful; because I can't dance. I think it was well established today that not only can I not dance, but my body isn't that flexible either. My teacher and the other student present were bending into contortions I could only dream of while I sweated and strained to make it even halfway. I need a lot of work!

We started with a lot of warm up stretches (painful ones) and then moved on to Tatkar, the basic footwork of Kathak dance. I didn't have much trouble keeping the rhythm because of all the years I spent learning music (and tapping my foot to the beat). Since I was so good at this, I thought I was IT. This lasted about 5 minutes, until my teacher said "Okay, let's start working in the arm movements!" From there is was all downhill. I cannot keep my arms and legs moving separately for long. Sooner or later (usually sooner) my arm movements will stop or I"ll lose the beat with my feet. I felt like a total idiot. I still can't get the overhead circular movement down.

My teacher was ever encouraging and said I could probably advance to the next level class (I'm in the beginner, beginner class) in a few weeks or so. I'm content to stay in a low level class until I know what I'm doing. I can see that it's going to take a LOT of work to get even the basics down pat.

I can't wait for my next lesson because we'll be doing more chakkars (I suck suck suck at spinning)!

My cool new ghungroos!

Taste beyond my means

Living in Tokyo has it's many hazards. For example; it's polluted, expensive, the train system is like an impenetrable maze, and the residence taxes will impoverish you. It will also turn you into a fashion whore. I kid you not.

I used to be the baggy t-shirt, jeans and running shoes kind of dresser. I wasn't a tomboy, because they are usually good at sports and other traditionally "guy" activities, and I'm a failure at those things. I didn't have a clue how to dress myself and, I cringe at this, often let my mother dress me for "special occasions."

When I moved to Japan, I started to notice Louis Vuitton bags everywhere. You can see Vuitton bags on the subways, in trains, on buses, you name it. I can probably see at least 15 to 20 bags a day, if not more. In Canada, I had never even seen one in real life. My exposure to Vuitton and other big name designer bags was limited to T.V. and magazines (and frankly my dear, I just didn't give a damn).

My first real home in Japan was in Fukushima. Since we were in the countryside, people weren't walking around like living fashion plates. While Koriyama has some shopping, it's nowhere near what Tokyo has. I didn't even have the fortune of living in Koriyama, and had to make do with the poorly fitting bargain clothes I could scrounge in Fukushima City. If a lady in Fukushima doesn't want to spend 18,000 yen to run down to Tokyo for a shopping spree, her choices are limited. Sendai (in the neighboring prefecture; also the boonies) has the lone Louis Vuitton store in the north, and they think they are IT. All the women worth their fashion salt carry a Vuitton purse. It's the height of taste and envy to a Tohoku woman. As it was, I felt that while I lacked a Vuitton bag, my clothing didn't really stick out in bad taste.

A year later I moved from Fukushima (a.k.a. the hicks of Tohoku) to Tokyo. Suddenly it was designer overload. I felt like a poorly dressed country cousin when I walked down the streets. Everywhere I went there were department stores touting Manolos, Jimmy Choos, and Chloe. I got a crash course in materialism. Women in Louboutin stilettos with Gucci Jockey bags (in Python!) were sashaying past me to their dates in fancy restaurants. Boyfriends were buying Chopard watches for their girlfriend's birthdays, and I was wearing no name jeans and a t-shirt with tomato stains. It was not a good feeling.

All that exposure to fashion started to rub off on me. I began to notice styles and brands that I liked. Slowly I began to  assimilate those items into my wardrobe. A Gaultier bag here, a D&G watch there, and those only lit the fire for more. Now I have reached the point where my taste is far beyond my means. Little by little my standard of what is reasonable has gone up. I stand in front of the windows of brand shops and sigh over their $4000 bags, or think $700 for a pair of Louboutins is a steal. The next stage (from my careful observations of Japanese women) is to begin scrimping on the other expenses in your life so you can afford those designer goodies. This is why you see Japanese women wearing a $10 dress with a $3000 bag. It's all about the designer goods.

While I could never afford half the stuff I lust after without starving or going homeless, I can do something about it. Namely, make the stuff I like myself. This will never extend to shoes (or maybe it will. I'm investigating that now), but everything from the ankles up I can make myself. All it takes is practice.

Currently I'm working on a cardigan based on the style Cameron Diaz wore in The Holiday. Any woman who has seen that movie most likely wants the majority of Cameron's wardrobe. Since I will never have a few thousand bucks to throw away on a Dior shearling coat or a TSE cashmere sweater, I"m working on my own versions. So far I'm half done the first sleeve. It's a complicated pattern, so it takes a lot longer (and more wool) to get done. Can't afford to do it in cashmere, so I'm doing it in a mohair/acrylic blend that is soft and fluffy. 

Behold the half a sleeve I have finished (with an unimpressed Mochi!)!

 I'm also working on the sewing skills and have half the lining done on a coat I'm making for the winter. After that I have two pencil skirts, a silk blouse, sweater top and several outer wear projects lined up. Hopefully some of them will actually be made in time for the winter season! The sweater is taking a long time... I knit on the train each day, on the bus, at work if I can sneak some free time, and while I watch Project Runway and True Blood (was that not a disappointing season finale?!?). Fashion has taken over my life. This is what Tokyo does to you.

Reason #5 I love Japan

It's been a long time since I made a post on this series! With all the negativity I spout here (what can I say, if bitching were an Olympic sport I could represent Canada!), I often forget to look at the positives of my adopted country. This post will be a short one because my intestines and I are having a battle of wills right now.

The number 5 reason I love Japan is: Hiroo!

For anyone who has gotten out at Hiroo station in Tokyo, they will understand immediately my love for this area. When you get to the surface (off the subway), you enter a place that seems somehow European, with sidewalk cafes, wonderful restaurants, small boutiques and an astonishing amount of foreigners.

Now, I know I bitch a lot about other foreigners in Japan (like my post here) BUT, sometimes when you get overwhelmed by all the Japaneseness, or you need a break from Japanese people in general, it's nice to be back amongst your own people (i.e. anyone who isn't Japanese).

Another great thing about Hiroo besides the atmosphere, is the foreign food market! It might be outrageously overpriced, but some of the stuff you can find there comes right outta your local supermarket (Hellmann's mayonnaise anyone?). When I need a taste of home, that's where I head. It doesn't hurt that they have an English language bookstore and stock a large selection of magazines either. You can kill two birds with one stone (or three birds, if you hit up the Baskin Robbins right outside on your way back).

While I could never afford to buy property there (at least not in the forseeable future), it is my dream to live there someday. It's in a great location (near all the best places to eat, party and shop) and has a lovely cosmopolitan air that makes me fiercely happy I live in tokyo.

If you haven't been there yet, what are you waiting for?