Disgusting

I kind of wrote a similar post about this before (relating to the boyfriend and I), but I get so tired of all the bullshit I read about Japanese men who are dating/married to foreign women that I wanted to address it a little more in depth. I can only apologize in advance for the long rant form this post takes. My emotions overcame me.

I thought I would do a little research on the Internet and used google (both the Japanese and Canadian versions) to see what would pop up under the words "Japanese men foreign women". It was disgusting.

About 90% of the sites dealt with two things: the high divorce rate between Japanese men and foreign women, and what bastards Japanese men are.

Is there a small group of bitter, foreign women out there who wrote these pages?

The misconceptions that are littering the Internet are so stupid. And what's worse, people are just repeating these ideas without any basis of experience. It's all things like "I heard Japanese men are...." or "A friend of a friend once dated a Japanese guy and..."

How about writing something you actually know from PERSONAL EXPERIENCE?

Let me clear up a few things....

Myth: Japanese men aren't interested in foreign women.
Truth: Many men ARE interested in foreign women. A lot of the time they are shy, worried that you don't speak Japanese, or think you may not be interested in them. If you are, go speak to the boys! They may be too shy to approach you without some encouragement. Make eye contact, give them a smile and you will get results.

Myth: If I marry a Japanese man, he will expect me to stay home and have children.
Truth: Yah, maybe if you married someone from the baby boomer generation. Modern Japanese men don't expect their wives to stay at home. In fact, with the economy the way it is, BOTH have to work to make ends meet. He'll probably be relieved the weight isn't all on his shoulders to support the family. Mind you, a lot of Japanese girls expect to stay at home after marriage. It's usually their idea (not their husband's) so don't think the same holds true for you. If anyone thinks that way, it's the asshole old bosses of Japanese companies. They kind of force some women to quit when they get married. Apparently the reasoning is something like, "You will eventually quit when you get pregnant. It will be difficult for the company to hire and train someone new in such a short time. Plus, once you have a baby you won't want to come back to work, so there's no point in taking maternity leave."

Myth: Japanese men cheat on their wives.
Truth: Okay.....this one is a bit tricky. Not because all the men cheat, but because BOTH sides do it. Women cheat just as often as men do. And this whole myth pisses me off anyways. Like foreign men never cheat? I had a friend in college who's boyfriend cheated on her 3 times while they were dating (she knew about it) and still cheats on her after their marriage. Assholes are international, people. I think most of the cheating people are from the older generations. They often married for status, money or security, and therefore have a very unhappy home life. Younger couples are usually a love match, so they tend to be more faithful. All I can suggest is marry someone you know really well and marry for the right reasons.

Myth: Japanese men have small penises.
Truth: I can't believe I'm answering this one...This one is hard (ha-ha) because I haven't seen that many "in the flesh." I don't have much experience to go on besides how they look when men are wearing their business suits (no I'm not a huge pervert always looking at crotches, but when you are seated in a crowded train they are all at eye level. I can't help it). Um, the boyfriend doesn't disappoint me at all in that area, but I have heard from male friends who have gone to hot springs that Japanese men are woefully unlucky when it comes to size. I think Japanese men are like any other nationality in that some are bigger than others. Many Japanese are growers, not showers so don't judge the whole lot based on a myth. You may be pleasantly surprised.

Myth: Japanese men are cold and unaffectionate.
Truth: Again, I think this is an old myth from the baby boomer's generation. Young people are much more comfortable showing their emotions than the older crowd. The boyfriend has no problem with physical contact in public. At home he is extremely affectionate and not adverse to the occasional snuggle (don't tell him I told you. His cool, tough reputation will be ruined). Lots of people hold hands on the train, kiss in public, and look very much in love. Remember, in many parts of the world PDA used to frowned upon too. Give Japan time. Plus, it's nice not to see people practically have sex in front of you here. I got really tired of that in America.

There are about a million more I could type up, but I think you get the picture. Most myths about Japanese men are outdated. And when I think of all the female English teachers living in Japan who bitch there are no good men here (i.e. foreign men), I just want to shake them. There are MILLIONS of good men here, if you would go out of your comfort zone for just one minute and try dating someone from another ethnicity. You may be pleasantly surprised!